The Laws of Power and the Power of Lawyers (Or Why Napoleon May Have Made A Fine Waiter)
By Groucho Marx (Deceased. Cigar still smouldering)
Julius “Groucho” Marx, vaudevillian icon reviews Robert Greene’s handbook for the power-hungry.
I’ve just finished reading The 48 Laws of Power, and I must say, if I had known there were that many laws, I never would have left law school. The last time someone handed me 48 rules, it was a waiter in Budapest and I still don’t know what the soup was.
The book is full of emperors, generals, and people who wore more velvet than dignity. I always say never trust a man in tights unless he’s playing the violin or robbing from the rich. In this book, they seem to do both, often at the same time.
One of the early laws recommends never outshining the master. I agree. I once tried to outshine a studio executive and wound up shining shoes in the commissary. Of course, they weren’t my shoes, but that’s how you build rapport in Hollywood.
There’s another bit of advice about saying less than necessary. Now that’s a philosophy I’ve always believed in deeply, but tragically, only after I’ve finished speaking. If I ever learn to hold my tongue, I’ll be sure to tell everyone about it.
At a certain point, I realized this wasn’t a book at all. It was a costume party. Every page introduced another duke or schemer, most of whom were either beheaded or promoted, depending on whether they bowed at the right angle. It reads like a guidebook for people who think eye contact is a sign of weakness and smiling is a form of surrender.
But there’s wisdom in it. Useful too, if you plan to take over a European court or the planning committee for your neighborhood association. I learned that to truly rise to power, one must combine charm, cunning, silence, spectacle, loyalty, betrayal, flattery, ruthlessness, patience, and punctuality. Or you could just be born rich, but that’s chapter forty-nine.
The author, Mr. Greene, is clearly a man with a library card, a keen eye for ambition, and perhaps a few suspicious friends. He’s studied history with the same intensity I use to study dessert menus. He sees patterns where others see accidents, and opportunities where I usually see someone else’s hat.
Now I don’t know if I’m any more powerful after reading it. But I certainly feel like I’ve shaken hands with several centuries of people I wouldn’t want to sit next to at dinner. That, in itself, is an accomplishment. And as they say in courtrooms and musicals, sometimes it’s not the law that matters, but how well you deliver it with a flourish.
If nothing else, I’ll keep the book on my nightstand. It’s nice to know that if I ever need to plan a palace coup or outwit a duke, I’ll have something to throw at them.
I recommend it. Especially if you’re a baron, a barista, or just someone who enjoys being warned ahead of time.
And remember: if power corrupts, I should be safe for the next several centuries.
Groucho Marx
Still curious? You can buy The 48 Laws of Power wherever books are sold, stolen, or strategically left on coffee tables to impress guests. I don’t get a commission, but if I did, I’d spend it on cigars and plausible deniability.
Pick up a copy today—because if you’re going to be manipulated, you might as well understand the choreography.
—Groucho
Editors note: If you would like a second opinion on this book Genghis Khan reviewed it over here.
